Separation Anxiety

Oops. I forgot I had a blog. Forgive me while I remember how this whole thing goes.

Our x mas and New Years was great... yatta yatta (weird word to type, forgive me if it's spelt wrong.)

My dear husband went on a 5(!!!) day bro-cation last week. Now to give you a little background, I am that wife who begins to text her husband roughly around 4 pm (when he usually doesnt leave until at least 530) messages like, "Soooo, ETA", "late night tonight???" "boys haven't napped, FML!!!" and little emoticons like the OMG face and then a gun.. you get the point.

So, needless to say, it was a doosey. I ALMOST earned my "Accelerated Single Mom Certificate" but failed short of a migraine... 3 nights out I fell ill with a migraine. With 3 nights of no sleep and anxiety plus gastritis and diverticulitis, I was pretty sure I was dying and sent SOS's to Dave which ended in his mother picking up the boys. I take full blame considering I dragged Joel's crib into my room (wtf was I thinking) and made Owyn AND the dog sleep in my room... for protection of course. Everyone knows, If a Momma bears is sleeping with her cubs they will not mess with them, right?

Out of the 6 years we've been together Dave has not had a single weekend (or even night) to himself, so something had to be done. His friend and I teamed up and booked this bro-cation for him to unwind and distress with his friends in Portland.  Of course, as a woman, I had my intentions, I mean, right? Don't we all? I think our alone time is crucial to our sanity and respect to not only ourselves but our spouses who allow that to us. Plus, I hate to say it, but every time I go and spend a little bit of time observing how other couples/families operate and what life is like alone I come running back thanking God that mine is so great and wonderful. I thought he deserved that a bit ;).

Before Dave left I was pretty excited to have some time to do whatever I want like watch crappy shows and clip my nails in bed with out anyone caring. By day two I was pretty lonely. Especially considering Dave has been keeping me up past 1am every night talking my ear off. "What is the difference between heart, soul, mind, body, spirit?".. conservation never ending....

So this is what we were up to: I took the boys to watch daddy's plane at Tempe Town Lake, I went hiking the day after my migraine, spent a lot of time of time in bed, and spent the other half outside.


- please excuse my poor quality ipnone pics

Christmas Card

Better late than never, right? 

I am so excited for Christmas.. even though I am 0% prepared. I've put off Christmas shopping for when my mom gets here this weekend, cause us women know double the shoppers = double the fun. Especially with my mom, cause that lady can shop and never drop!

My worthless thoughts on sharing

^^Here is a sweet old unrelated pic.^^

 

Our lives these days are so weird with social media. It allows us to connect with tons of people so easily. Not only does it let everyone into our lives but it also allows us to choose how we want them to view us.

Everyone has different views on what and how we should share ourselves on the internet. I have friends who don't think we should share anything personal, others who share everything that's personal. And some even think there should be a limit as to how often we share things.

I really don't understand why people are so critical of others online. I mean, its like an epidemic of unstable meanies with nothing other to do than hide behind their monitors and spit hate at or about other people. But then I begin to wonder if it really is just online?

It doesn't matter what you do, if you're open- you share to much, if you post a lot- you share too often and don't have a life, if you only share happy things- you're actually miserable, if you only share sweet things about your husband- you guys are actually really unhappy and are most likely going to be divorced soon.

No matter what we do we will be criticized. So I say who cares? I don't mind sharing myself, my ideas, and my life good or bad for 3 reasons, which seems like enough to me:

1.) I don't want someone to judge me based on someone that I'm not, so I figure I will just be myself and post whatever and however I feel is genuine to my character. Yeah, I might be an over-grammer on IG, but hey, I think my kids do a lot of cute things.

2.) I don't care what people think about me because I'm the only person who matters what I think about me. And I like myself, mostly because I know who I am and what I stand for and Im not afraid to speak my mind. (And I don't mean that in a, "Ill say what I want to or about you/him/her, I don't care what you think" kind of way. I am talking about my ideas on things and events, not people.)
 
3.) I'd much rather get to tell my side of the story.

Going off number 3, I feel the need to touch on gossip, because it's also sharing, right? Everyone knows its bad. Yet everybody does it. There's always the same excuses,which I have also used and still do (Im working on it!) until Dave opened my eyes to the real issue of gossip.

The excuses- "It's okay, they don't care if people know. It's not a secret" or "Im not supposed to say anything but I can tell you because you're my _____"

The answer- You're telling someone else's story without allowing them to tell their side. Try reading a book and then telling someone else about it. Yes, we may be able to summarize ideas well but we all have different interpretations of things and we all know how the telephone game works.

One time I was telling Dave about something and he stopped me and said, "I don't want to know." I said why? You're my husband I can tell you" and he said, " It's none of my business and that person told you, not me. If they want me to know they will tell me." .. That made me feel pretty crappy and put perspective on things.

So what is my point? I don't know. I just share my ideas because I'm an over sharer.

Let just all try to remember, at least while reading my blog, haha..
We are all bound to not like or agree with everyone. If you don't, just accept them for being that silly friend of yours (without making fun of them!) or just move on. You don't have to tell them how bad they suck. 

Im Aliiiive

I’m back! I’ve been missing this little space of mine so badly.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about myself and who I am and how I have changed over the years and realized how much blogging has transformed me. Before I began displaying my thoughts publicly for anyone to read I was a lot more of an introvert. Finding my voice and sharing it with others who can and will judge me or criticize me for it has really brought me out of my shell. Aside from that, it is therapeutic, helps keep distant friends and relatives up-to-date and makes me feel like I am getting my word out there. As tiny of a person that I am (in the grand scheme of things), I hope that my ideas and/or experiences may help other people, whether it allows them to connect/relate to someone or learn or be inspired.

  

Enough of that.

Now, let’s do a little catch up.

The last time I blogged was a year and a half ago! Whoa! Joel was JUST born when I blogged and he is now 1 ½ (incase your as bad at math as I am, I did the math for you ;)).

I have a million things to say about Joel because he is literally an angel, like no joke. But we’ll save a post just for him!

The first year of Joel was both challenging but wonderful. I was feeling my very best, I was healthy, fit, feeling confident and at my happiest point. But It was a rough year of lots of little sickies and sleepless nights.

Ever since we hit that 1 year mark everything has seemed to have gone way crazy. I was still working at the museum and decided I wanted to work part time. Why? Still don’t really know, but I’m always antsy to try different things so it happened.

Right after I started working my new full time job Owyn got really sick. He had a ruptured appendicitis that wasn’t caught for 3 (!!!) days! We took him to the doctor twice being sent home which nausea meds and the generic “virus” diagnosis. By the time we rushed him to ER he was lifeless. I really don’t think he would’ve lived much longer if we didn’t take him in, it was that bad. By the time they figured out what was going on the infection was so bad and had spread throughout his abdomen so we spent 7 days in the hospital. It was a nightmare. He was in pain, bored, angry, sad, starving, and thirsty. The infection stopped his intestines from functioning so he wasn’t able to eat or drink for days. I wish no one ever had to see their kids go through that.

After Owyn got better things began crashing down. For starters Owyn wasn’t on insurance during the hospital stay because I had just started my new job and cancelled his insurance thru Dave and was in the waiting period for mine to kick in. Bad timing. Our bills are outrageous. So, I quit my job. Doesn’t seem to make sense, right? Well it did for me and I wanted to be with my boys.

After that we’ve dealt with major things that have happened to the house, a giant bombshell that was dropped on my head (which I hope to talk about one day) , continuing house issues, and to top off the year, I got diagnosed with a serious health condition. So that’s where I’ve been.  I look at all the things going on and think, “that’s not my life”. When we’re in the midst of the chaos it doesn’t seem bad, but when I’m updating friends or family on what’s going on, I’m like, “geez, is this for real?” and then I just laugh. 

Aside from everything, I am pretty happy. There’s a lot of things I wish were a bit different but these boys of mine make every day the best day. 

xoxoxo 

Now, look at these cute kids of mine! Gaahhh! 

(Photos by the Lang Photographers)

August 20, 2012

On Monday August 20 we welcomed our newest baby boy into the family.

Joel Jasper
7lbs. 3oz.

This boy is the sweetest thing in the world. I am so obsessed and fear he is going to quickly turn into a spoiled baby that needs to be held 24/7 (because that's what I've been doing). Before he was born I couldn't imagine what our family would be like with a new addition and thought there was no way I could love anyone as much as I love Owyn. And now, I can hardly remember what that was like because I feel incredibly content and like our family is now complete.

Baby J is a very good baby. He instantly took to nursing and sleeps way more than I'd like him to.

Owyn is loving his new role as Big Brother. He has been helping us take care of him and is always waiting for him to wake up so he can show him his room and all his favorite things. 

We just can't get enough.

San Diego Vacation: Part 1

Okay I'm way late at posting pics from our Memorial Day weekend vacation.

But hey, better late than never, right?

We had such a great time. 

Our SD vacations are always super relaxing and staying at Dad's is always a treat!

1.Walking around Seaport Village (one of our favorite hang out spots).// 2. playing at Balboa Park// 3. playing at the Science Center. // 4. Dad's amazing view// 5. opening gifts from the grandparents // 6. crossing the bridge to Coronado// 7. playing at the beach!

recent belly growth

28 weeks

 30 weeks

 

Ramblings about Nesting

The nesting process has begun! 

This baby is going to be here in no time. 

It's so bitter sweet pulling out all of Owyn's old tiny clothes. Wasn't that just yesterday that he was making these mysterious yellow stains? You never know what the source is with those newborn clothes. Is it milk, spit up, amniotic fluid?? Gross..

He has been so cute about becoming a big brother. He is so helpful and excited. As he was looking around at his room completely covered in baby stuff he stopped and said "baby's gonna pop out", as if he had some sort of revelation, and I think he finally realized that this baby is going to come join this family! 

I have gotten all of the clothes organized and ready to be put into a dresser. We are getting ready for a yard sale to get rid of all the clutter going on in the closets, cause you know babies bring a lot of clutter! We also found a preschool through multiple recommendations that we will hopefully be trying out very soon just to get Owyn acclimated so it's not too much of a shock throwing him in right when baby is born. And most importantly, we are going on a few vacations or "baby moons" before he comes. CAN. NOT. WAIT. Swimsuits, sun screen, virgin pina coladas, oh my!

In other news, which is old news, but untold news, I have Placenta Previa, but it's only a partial so I haven't been worrying about it, just staying on "pelvic rest". They say in most partial cases the placenta moves out of the way as the uterus grows. Last night I was observing my not-so-large belly and realized, oh crap, I'm not gonna get very big again. I was so small when I had Owyn so it makes me worry that my uterus won't grow enough to move the placenta out of the way. Let's pray that it does because I do not want to go on bed rest at 32 weeks and get a C-section. yikes! 

I have an ultra sound in a couple weeks to check the status which will let us know what's to come. Fingers crossed!

24 Weeks and a Cousin Date

We are now 24 weeks pregnant! Oh my! The time is zooming. 

The other day Dave asked if I could "put it on hold". 

Oh yes, because if I could, I would love to be uncomfortable, hot and fat with heart burn for longer than necessary. Oh and wait longer to meet son #2! What a crazy!

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Speaking of crazy, last night we met up with Aunt Whitney, Uncle Josh and cousin Riley for live music and froyo. Those kids sure do like to run around and be wild.

Lately

 Wow have we been busy! 

The wedding was absolutely amazing. Everything was planned and everything was perfect. I can't wait to post pictures and tell you all about the greatness! 

That last week was so insane and we were missing our sweet little guy so badly so we had a family day out at the Phx Children's Museum. Owyn loved it, to say the least. We then went to Cibo for the first time and THEN Four Peaks.

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The Feist show was one of the best we've been to, and that says a lot cause we've see a ton of live concerts. She had the entire audience on their feet dancing throughout the entire show. 

It's always a special outing when going to the Orpheum in Phoenix. 

The venue us stunning, has so much history and everyone wears their finest.

 

 

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just a little baby bump pic 

<3