Monday, January 11, 2010

Can you have your cookies and eat them too?

It was another week full of nothing really interesting.
Work. Homework. Cooking. Baking. Cleaning.
And a nice little emotional breakdown that came up to surprise me.

Sometimes it's tough being a worker/student/mom.
I don't have much time to really enjoy the things I love.
I feel like I'm here to fill a job position and less like the woman of the house.
Less like the fun girl that made a Dave fall madly in love with her.

It makes me think a lot.
A lot about what is really right for my family.
Is it better to continue on with the last year of my school.
Is it better to try to get it over with during this precious time of my sons life
just so I can be "educated" and be able to help support my family sooner?
-Which then only requires me to be gone even more. 

It's hard to say. Everyone has their own opinions and priorities. They both have their pros and cons.
I try my best to take in this time with Owyn. When I am with him I am with him. 
I don't worry about homework or anything else.

I've worked so hard to get here.
I don't want to give up. I don't want to take 2 or 3 more years.

Can I have my cookies and eat them too?

All I know, is that I am so blessed.
I am so blessed to have the opportunity to go to ASU.
So blessed to have a job that I enjoy so much.
And most of all so blessed to have such an amazing family.

All I can do is take my blessing, embrace them and do my best.

Make my parents proud. Make Owyn proud to have a mom like me. 

And make God proud.