Thursday, July 9, 2009

Am I crazy, or are they?

So lately it seems like everyone is super fertile. Everyone's getting fertilized. I guess that's what happens when the economy is bad. People get it on and have babies. I don't get it at all. Maybe since less people are working they are less tired and have more energy to do so?

Anyways, I see many old friends or acquaintances in the same situation as me. It's all over facebook.

Ooops. I'm pregnant. At first this did not make me jump for joy. I was like oh crap what now. Luckily I have a great support system and made my ooops with such a wonderful man.

I don't know if they just don't talk about their real feelings openly, or if they are a little crazy and living in some fairy tale. Or maybe I am the crazy one. They act as if they not afraid of anything. I have even asked, "aren't you nervous?" "aren't you afraid of labor?" and they laugh and say no.

Don't get me wrong, now that we've figured everything out things have been very exciting and I am super happy 97% of the time. Although it wasn't planned we are prepared and feel extremely blessed. We even pretend to put the baby to sleep in his crib sometimes and tickle his belly. " night night baby Barnslig" ( it's a baby line at IKEA we thought was funny so now we call him baby Barnslig). Weird I know. It's all Dave.

Now as you all know, I sometimes go through rough patches. Little anxiety moments. Just as anyone would expect right? I mean I am young and my entire life has changed and is only going to change even more. forever. everything. My future plans I had, finishing school, my body, my relationship with Dave, my relationship with friends. Motherhood changes women. They say a woman has to completely reinvent herself after she becomes a mom. And then I worry if I'll be a good mom.

Every mom I talk to has felt this way.

I see myself as the type who keeps her crap together and see's life realistically. I have little fall out moments and I suck it up and move on. I do what I have to do. Survival mode. But these things do worry me. And I can admit that. I know everything will be so amazing, but I am a little scared. And if any other fertile mertiles want to step away from their perfect glowing lives for a moment to talk about getting fat and leaking "N's", I am totally down.

And come on. Who is not nervous for labor? Do they know what happens? I took that birthing class and it is not a couple quick pushes and your sweet little baby is out and life is perfect.