Today, as I'm sure you already know, is Owyn's First Birthday.
It's amazing how much parenthood changes you. If you let it.
From the moment I knew I was going to be a mother everything was different. My perception of life had changed. Becoming a mother is such an amazing and spiritual experience. Life becomes clear. Like a rainy day when the rain stops and the sun shines through the clouds lighting up the sky and everything that is beautiful on this earth. Everything is clearer. So pure.You can see straight through it to basic important meaning of life. This life we live on earth is so sacred and short. And now, I see, that we are to make everything we can of it so in the end we can live together for eternity in Heaven.
Right before I knew I was pregnant I was going through one of those times where we question our importance here. What is great about me? Who am I and what is my purpose. And my questions were answered very soon after. I am a child of God. And now I have the opportunity to give life and meaning to another. One I call my own. I can tell him what all I've learned and experienced and teach him the true meaning of life. I was faithful before Owyn, but this experience has strengthened my relationship with God so much.
Just last week Dave and I were having one of our "deep conversations" we often do about life. This talk was about traveling and how we're less likely to travel the world now that we have so many responsibilities here at home. I mentioned how I never understood when people use the excuse of wanting to travel instead of having children. Dave had an empowering response. He said, what makes traveling the world so great is being able to see the great work of God. He added that being able to wake up and see Owyn grow, laugh and learn everyday reminds him of the great work of God. And we both agreed that is much more powerful. If I had to choose between traveling the world while never having children and never leaving my state while having children, Id chose children in a second.
That is the greatest thing that ties Dave and I together. Our faith. We are always able to pull each other back up to the righteous path. His words are inspiring and his actions are some to live by. He is such an amazing father to Owyn. He does everything he can to make a good life for Owyn and I. The night Owyn was born I slept throughout the entire night. Though all of the chaos and visits from the nurses, I never woke once. Dave stayed up by our side changing and attempting to feed Owyn when he woke. Nothing really has changed. Sad to say. It makes me feel awful, but Dave still wakes up with Owyn, changes his diapers, cleans his bottles and is the best at putting him to sleep. I am so grateful for him. I feel lucky to have him to teach Owyn all about the wonders of the world. Dave is that guy who has answers to everything. Whether it's the meaning/spelling of a word, a verse in the bible, a fact about history, how telephones work, what kind of clouds are in the sky (and why), or even how to sew on a button. He knows. Good thing, cause Im the parent who would always answer, "just because, sweetie", when my child asks me why or how. If it weren't for Dave, I wouldn't know that babies can't have grapes because of the skin.
---------
Back to Owyn's birthday...
Has it really been one year? Really?
It's been a long but short year. We've been through so much, which makes it seem so long, but it's flown by so quickly. Owyn has taught me so many things. Like how to be patient and find joy out of the small things in life. Like a balloon. He brings me happiness everyday. Id be lying if I said he didn't also bring me frustration everyday. But Ill tell you all what I tell every other person about motherhood...
Yes, your life revolves around someone else. It has it's hard times and it's great times. But every night I go to bed feeling accomplished and every morning I wake up with a purpose. And that purpose is so beautiful.
July 21, 2009:
One year later:
Happy Birthday Owyn-Cornelious-Slig.
You are more than a mother could ask for.
