Saturday night my wonderful grandmothers watched Owyn for us so we could have some time to ourselves. They were nice enough to let him spend the entire night with them. While dropping him off I felt fine. Mostly because these women are baby experts and I figured if there is anyone he should be left with its best that it is my grandmothers. After all, they are my mothers mother and grandmother and nurture the same as me. Being with my grandmother is the next best thing if my mom isnt around.
Dave however seemed to have some separation anxiety. He was very sad dropping off our little Barnslig. It wasn't until later when I got sad. We were laughing and having fun at home together when Dave starting imitating the funny things Owyn does and was showing me pictures he took earlier that night. I started to get a tear in my eye so we stopped and moved along.
One of Dave's dear friends had a birthday party so we put on our best clothes that do not have spit up on them and went out.
{none of our pictures turned out well. the silk from my shirt reflected with the flash}
{Most random thing ever! We walked out of the house and there was a semi parked in the neighborhood}
{We had a little too much fun on the car ride home and we found a midget trash can.}
I was surprised by how much fun we had. I quickly remembered why I love being with this man so much. This was exactly what we needed. To go out (no baby) and be reminded of what it was that brought us together.
Friday night we wanted to get out of the house so we went to Tempe Beach Park and strolled Owyn around in his hip stroller. We were sweating by the end of our walk. What a hot night it was.
Saturday Dave had to go into work for a special project which took up his entire day so me and the baby took Grandma I to the mall and she bought us a bunch of the new Fiestaware color lemongrass, some extra serving dishes and beautiful linen place mats with matching napkins, so when I got home I re-did our dining table setting.
We spent the rest of the weekend relaxing and me and Dave got to go out for the first time since the baby was born.
Recently Dave introduced me to Bon Iver and I am in love. (Everytime I asked who it was he responded, "Bon Iver. B-O-N-I-V-E-R. Two words". ha okay Dave)
When I listen to him I can close my eyes and imagine myself driving through the desert with Dave, the windows down and my feet up on the dashboard. I just can't decide where we are headed on my imaginary trip. Prescott or San Diego? Maybe if I keep listening Ill find out.
LOVE IT!
Dave just bought us tickets to see him Sept. 29! I can't wait!!
From day 1 this kid has been sucking on his middle finger and the side of his hand. I always laugh and try to show him how to suck his thumb. I told him people don't suck their middle fingers! Well we all know practice makes perfect. He has finally figured it out.
My mother, father, sister and brother are all spread throughout 3 states. California, Colorado and Tennessee.
It makes me sad that the people I grew up with are not here for Owyn to be around. But then again it makes me sooo happy that they have all moved on to fulfill their dreams.
This only makes me dislike living in AZ even more. They are the smart ones who left. I can't wait to get out of here. I keep telling Dave that once I'm finished with my degree we are out of here. So I'm trying to hurry! I know we will never all live in the same place again but I might as well go somewhere I like too.
{ left: Me and Dad on my birthday in 08 right: Whitney and Dad in California 07 boat shopping}
{ left: Me Sean and Whitney in 06 right: Me Mom Sean and Whitney in 08}
This weekend has been the most tiring weekend of my life. Not even exaggerating.
Friday night Owyn decided sleep was not his thing. So he didn't do it. This was surprising because he's been giving us 4 hours of sleep at night lately.
I woke up Saturday feeling like i had been hit by a bus. I literally felt like I could not get out of bed. I had the worst headache of my life and every muscle in my body was sore. But duty called. I had to get up, be a mom and finish my finals from the classes I was taking this summer. Owyn continued to stay awake. The longest he slept was 1 hour at a time.
Once 6 o'clock rolled around I was finally finished with my finals, still feeling like crap and Owyn was still awake and being a butt head. I took his temp to make sure he wasn't sick, but it was low even though he felt so warm. I took my own temp just to make sure the thermometer was working correctly and shockingly it was 100.9. Once I saw that number I knew I was not just feeling crappy because I tired. There was something wrong.
By 8 o'clock my temp. was 103.4. I have never even had a temp this high. I called the doctor and he advised me to go to the ER. I got myself in the car, leaving my family safe from germs at home. (Word of advise, Scottsdale Health Center has the quickest ER!)
I went in and they immediately started a ton of tests. They took like a gallon of blood, performed a complete "womans" exam + a pleasant biopsy, stuck in a catheter, swabed my nasal cavity for the flu, and did an abdominal U/S as well as a vaginal. Sooo not fun. Sometimes it really sucks being a woman. I thought the painful stuff ended after delivery.
Luckily I had my grandmother there with me who always seems to make me feel better. Who better to have with you than your mother's mother when your mother cant be there?
By around 1am all of the tests were back and looked great. The doctor gave me a choice of staying and going further into testing or go home and come back if it continues. Of course, I decided to come home to my family.
I got home around 2am, pumped since I was completly full after being away from my infant for that long, fell asleep after 3am and woke up by my hungery baby at 4am. Dave must have been super tired because he didnt even wake up and he was sleeping right next to him. I was sleeping on the couch in the living room and woke up.
I woke this morning and we have been going ever since.
I have delayed my classes till next monday to give myself 1 week of rest. Then it's back to the madness!
I love finding super cheap things. It makes me happy.
{found these cute flower salt and pepper shakers at Target for $1.14!} {{ and the others were at Goodwill for $1 each but it was %50 day so they were .50}}
{Fry's had these flowers for $1, what a nice find}
Today me and my good little boy ran around town. Poor guy, I didn't want to drag him along but I had no choice. School starts next Monday and I had to get my classes set up and deal with financial aid stuff. He was such a good boy. I hope he stays this good once classes start. I am full time this semester, I have 14 credit hours. It may be a little tough with a new baby but I know I can do it.
Since we had to go to the ASU campus I of course drove around my favorite neighborhood and stopped at 3 roots coffee shop to pick up a caramel nut latte. Yummm.
I miss living in walking distance to these guys. Life feels different in the heart of Tempe. It's the only place i'll live in Arizona.
I started thinking about all the good times I had riding my bike to campus, which I won't be doing this semester. I remembered a particularly beautiful day last spring that sticks out in my mind. I woke up this warm spring morning at the crack of dawn. What does one do at 5:30am?? Well if you live around neat neighborhoods, university campus and tempe town lake you take your cruiser for a stroll. So I did exactly that. I rode my back up and down the streets of the neighborhood, through campus and to tempe town lake. There is nothing like being out early in the morning. Just you, your bike and your ipod. I felt so free and so alive while the earth stood still for that hour and 1/2. I even caught myself smiling a few times and thought to myself "oh crap, people will think I am weird if I'm riding my bike around this early smiling to myself".
The overgrown tree's were so vibrantly green you could smell it. The air felt crisp and fresh as if no one had breathed it before. The sunshine was glistening off the still lake water. The old ASU buildings where empty and silent as if they were resting from all of the foot traffic in the days. I got a chance to really look at and appreciate the beauty of these things we pass by and abuse everyday and really fell inlove. It's days like those that make me feel so blessed to be on this earth. And days like today that I spend with my son re-tracing those steps.
I so needed this weekend. I feel 100x better than I was by the end of the week.
Saturday morning I went and got my hair done. It was the perfect thing to do for myself because i got to get out for a couple hours and talk with my hair lady who also recently had a child.
I came home to a beautiful sleeping baby and a wonderful man who had started working on a school project of mine due tomorrow (its a brochure and Dave is great with photoshop).
We spent the day doing nothing but the brochure and took a nice long family nap, woke up and ordered Chinese from our fav New China Gate.
I so do not want this weekend to end.
Here are some pictures from today...
{everytime we put him in his swing he loves to look out the window}
Everyone's been asking how I'm doing so I thought I'd update you all.
At first this new role was a piece of cake. I don't know what happen, but everything got a lot harder.
I've been struggling with my identity. I no longer know who I am. I've lost the old me. I was prepared for this, I knew it would happen, I just didnt' know how hard it would be. I no longer seem to laugh or even make jokes, and sarcasm is my thing! Worst of all, I have lost my sweetness.
Dave has always been able to easily squeeze out that sweetness and those laughs in me but now once he gets home all I'm thinking about is handing over the baby and running for the door. Just to get a breath. I feel so bad. I swore to myself I would not be that girl, but here I am. Lost and lost my mind.
Staying at home all day doesn't help and now on top of everything my milk supply has dramatically decreased. Everyone said that nursing is hard the first couple weeks and a lot of women give up but I had no idea how hard it would be. I've never taken on a responsibility this difficult.
Owyn is having some serious gas problems and is becoming very fussy over it so I have changed my entire diet. All I ate is fruit veggies and meat- if it's dinner. No mexican, no chocolate, not a lot of dairy. At least it's help me get my body back in shape. Ive also had to add lactate supporting herbs and acidophiles to the everyday DHA and daily vitamin.
Sleep doesn't happen that often anymore. Another great word of advise I seem to hear ofter from others, "sleep when he sleeps". Yeah right. Did these people breast feed? Did they try to keep their house clean? If this kid falls asleep I'm either cleaning up after the messes I made while he was awake, pumping, or trying to do homework. Most days I do not get a nap. Dave has been back to work for 2 weeks now and I have only napped about 4 of those days.
Everything will fall into place soon- I hope. I've been learning a lot and still have a lot more to figure out.
Until then this is me and this is my life.
Thanks to everyone for their support. And thank you for the offers to help take Owyn off my hands so I can rest but I really have to get this milk supply problem solved before handing him over.
{none of our pictures turned out well. the silk from my shirt reflected with the flash}
