Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Birth Basics

We're 33 weeks.
The further along it get's the more anxious and scared I become. Of course I'm so excited and feel prepared for anything to come, but a woman would be lying if she said she is not scared or nervous at all for the birth, or what comes after. Complete responsibility. It's mostly the problems that could occur that scare me.

Tonight we had our second "birth basics" class. Sounds all nice and simple but really it's 3 hours of me at the edge of my seat with complete fear and anxiety. Then I look over at Dave sitting next to me chuckling. Last week we learned about all of the stages of labor. Words like mucous plug were thrown around. Today we learned about all of the drugs. I was looking forward to this class but we watched 2 video's, one vaginal birth with meds and one cesarean with meds and I actually started to feel faint.

As we left the class I was actually getting snappy with Dave. As I am talking about all of my fears he's trying to reassure me, telling me everything will be okay and I will do a great job and be a great mother. Then I come home, take off my clothes and look in the mirror only to find that my ass has gotten even bigger. Then, of course, Dave continues his attempt at making me feel better, telling me how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am and how I shouldn't "put myself under a microscope". And then, being the brat I am, I snap and say "You don't get it! Nothing about you changes!" And then he says "not physically", and then I felt bad.