Everyday my frustration seems to grow, yet decrease, by my nonexistent slef-cleanliness. (It depends on whether I think about it or not)
Evey single day I sacrifice my own self cleanliness for my homes. Im pretty sure it's a prerequisite for becoming a mother.
Interview with the man up stairs goes:
The Man: "oh, you don't like to shower, or ever do your hair?
Applicant: "Oh, not at all! I usually just roll out of bed at the crack of dawn and run my fingers through it. Make-up? What is that?"
The Man: APPROVED!
okay, okay.
Sorry to disappoint you prospective mothers, but we don't actually have the opportunity to have an interview with The Man. But don't we all wish we did, not only to actually meet him in person before you know when (although Id be happy to take a phone interview. Heck, Id be happy to do a live chat on the internet!) but don't we all wish there was some sort of interview?? I always see women with young children and my heart just aches for them. The children that are walking behind their mother with 5 other children on busy main street. (by biggest concern! I hate when mothers let their children walk behind them out of their sight).
Anyway, back to the important stuff..
Every morning I wake up with the same momentum as Peach from Nemo. Goodmorning everyone! The sun is shining the tank is clean!.. and I am... ..... ahhh! the tank is clean!!!(in shock, expecting/hoping the tank would be dirty to finally succeed in the many plans taken to escape the drudgery of living in a tank. )
.. that being me waking up thinking this exact day will somehow be different from every other day and I will actually get to shower and, I don't know, maybe blow dry my hair.)
HA! Only in my dreams. I found myself texting Dave in desperation today..
Me: I can't keep up with the cleaning! Everytime I turn around Owyn has a new mess!
Dave: I know, babe, don't worry about it, ill help you out when you get home.
Me: No, that's not the point! I don't want cleaning to be this big of a deal! I just don't want to have to clean r 2 days! That's all! No one cleans for 2 days!
I don't think Dave understands that homes with children in them are usually messy. (sorry Dave for calling you out like that). Id love to take a poll of how many mothers of walking sons have their houses clean AND make dinner every night (oh, not to mention, work a job, have an internship and go to school full-time). Well count me in on that very small poll, because I DO! And its tough! Once he gets home I crash and I want to do nothing but sit on my big butt and read my book or even stare at the ceiling until I fall asleep. Wouldn't that be nice!
Do have any idea what it is like getting ready with an Owyn??
Let me tell you..
It all starts off with the changing and the feeding, blah blah blah..
then you get into the shower. but no, they want to shower too! So, you let them in and of course, you don:t get to shave your visible leg hairs because they are getting cranky. You get out and put the daily after shower lotion on (who am I kidding? Daily? HAH!) then they want the lotion, so you give it to them, walk into the bathroom, sit along the side of the tub and start shaving your leg. Oh, wait, forget about that. He wants the razor (yeah right kid, like Im really gonna give this to you?) It doesn't end after you attemp to shave your legs. He want my tooth brush, my hair brush and everything else I don"t want him to have. By the time I get around to sitting on my bathroom floor to do my make up in the mirrors I have to get up 5 times just to find it. Even though I keep my make-up nicely organized in a bag everything is missing. For example, today, I found my bobbi brown moisturizer in the living room, foundation brush on the entertainment center in the family room, eye brow tweezers in my room on the floor, MAC blush in my cupboard in the kitchen and the rest spread all over my bathroom. I had to fight him for my eye liner and struggle to see through the finger prints on the mirrors. I finally gave up and went into work looking like the usually.
This is the usual convo I first encounter at work..
Employee: "Chelsea, there's somthing on you here"
Me: "Oh crap! that's just from my son this morning."
This is all very silly. And no matter what that child does, he's the cutest thing ever and has my heart. But trust me when I tell you this... It really does get to you!
Convict:
{Owyn painting the town (or bathroom) red (/orange?)}
